


Primrose And Lavender

by jellyfishdream



Series: Things I Write In Class [1]
Category: K.A.R.D (Band)
Genre: And suddenly im going to make this an entire thing like fuck, BTW KARDS makeup article was just so pure and nice i loved it, Back Pickup Lines, F/F, I Don't Even Know, Jiwoo and Somin are Soulmates, M/M, Mathew is sorta oblivious throughout the whole thing im S O R R Y, Taehyung's a sponge yall, This is going to be a muli-chaptered thingy, Wrote this in Chem, i have a US history exam in two hours why didnt i sleepfuc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:11:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12200082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfishdream/pseuds/jellyfishdream
Summary: Kim Taehyung really just wants a break, or some down time. Anything to keep him sane, because at this point he's going to lose his fucking marbles.There's no possible way that Mathew was "that" oblivious. Jiwoo and Somin have each other, don't even think about seperating them, you'll die on the spot.Meanwhile, Taehyung can't make any progress with "manning up" and just "fucking confess you coward" as Somin so kindly puts it.It doesn't help that Mathew got a main role in an upcoming drama, meaning that he's going to have to see his crush act all romantic and beautiful (he doesn't need to act ya'll) for some chick. (How can he become that chick?!) All while seeming to be more worthless than Shreaded Liver, because even Chopped Liver has a greater value than him.





	Primrose And Lavender

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, i somehow got away with writing a draft of this in the middle of Chemistry and it blew my fucking mind. Also my friend and i were saying shitty pick up lines to each other and it inspired me. Honesty Taehyung is just me in this entire situation from like crappy Sophmore year (the olden times). I have a bunch of KARD fics i never post and im just going to group them together. 
> 
> I need to stop starting things like this and then taking YEARS to update. Also i love all of KARD but im too poor to afford to go to any of the fanmeets (everytime they hit up Miami i cry bc im in that state) so i'll just write to cope.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Taehyung wants to scream.

Scratch that, he wants to kick something down. Or maybe someone 

He's angry, upset and frustrated all in on stomach killing combination. It sickens him, the kind of emotional turmoil that has his stomach  _rolling_  because-

_Is it scientifically possible for someone to be_ **_that_ ** _oblivious?!_

So, for as long as Taehyung could remember (a long time then,) he's been trying to get together with Mathew. 

Dating wise at least, they can "get together" if he ever gets that far. He's only but the object into thought though, wishing it could be transformed into an action.

Said actions being holding hands, going on cute dates together, even to just be in each other's company would work. But is it really healthy for a person to be  _this_ dense? Should he consider taking Mathew to a doctor. (Maybe a love doctor, no wait that’s what he needs).

Taehyung put his blood and tears into trying to give Mathew his affection. Practically throwing himself at Mathew, and for those who are aware of his pitiful situation, they either believe he's trying too hard and should let fate take its course-

_Sonmin_

Or that he should just give it up and smack Mathew on the top of his head to see if he's denser than water.

_Jiwoo_ _basically._

Wow no wonder everyone's having love problems (nah it's just him, Jiwoo and Somin are basically soulmates). 

If both Somin and Jiwoo are aware of his terrible attempts to romance Mathew, then he seriously cannot be that unware without either being a jerk about it or just refusing to acknowledge him.

Taehyung psychically pouts at that thought, puffing out his cheeks in distress along with adding the famous "Crossing-Arms-Over-Chest" move you usually see in those detective shows.

It pisses him off, at this point Taehyung is considering shoving his hand into his chest, ripping through his ribs and arteries; pulling his heart right from its home and throwing it at Mathew's stupidly-handsome face.

However, despite the amazing amount of time he can spend being a small ball of over-due anger, he'll just become a sponge. Absorbing and soaking up every smile, unintentional compliment, and  _every_  hint of (brotherly) love and survive. It isn't a healthy coping mechanism but it keeps him alive and breathing. 

Now this, is where we address the problem, well one of the many problems plaguing his youthful life. Mathew, in his tall and gummy-smiled glory, was selected to act in a new and upcoming drama. But aren't you being hypocritical towards Mathew?

You see, while he is extremely proud and happy for Mathew getting such a good role, he's- how should he say this? He's bitter, and happy? He's jealous. But not of Mathew! Of that lucky actor who gets to be the romantic interest of Mathew's character.

Just be the sponge, Taehyung tells himself, just be the sponge. Huh, maybe he could make this into a new song. It's sort of catchy. (Maybe that's just because he has to tell himself those four words everyday).

* * *

 

Being the sponge was harder than he thought. Nothing could prepare him for this:

Poor Taehyung, and his poor heart. Forget ripping it out himself, it's just going to break right out of its bone-caged confines. Or maybe just become passive-aggressive, who knows. 

Anything. Anything but this.

Taehyung was just relaxing on the couch enjoying some random episode of a drama he failed to understand the plot of. All he knows is that the heroine is going through some bullshit that lead love interest guy shouldn’t have done to her. 

He's got her cornered up against a wall, sort of how Taehyung feels about his dilemma. What is he going to do about that?

Avoid it like the plague, more or less. 

Which is why it being completely useless when Mathew and the others entered the room. Somin and Jiwoo were cracking up over some witty thing Mathew told them. There he goes again, unintentionally making Taehyung's heart bang against his chest. Filling his stomach with those stupid butterflies and making everything jittery. 

Jiwoo notices his slumped form on the couch, becoming the exact definiton of what it is to be a couch potatoe. 

"You alive there, Taehyung?" She questions, shoving his legs aside to make room for herself. 

"Barely." Taehyung mumbles out, eyes shuffling over to Jiwoo.

She takes the remote out of his hand, and changes it to some music show. Huh, looks like it's featuring Pentagon.

"I was watching that you know." 

"No, you weren't.'

Noticing the sudden change in mood, Jiwoo is quick to fix it. By poking into Taehyung's side. Which is, by the way, his ultimate weakness.

He's ticklish, he can't help it. Nor can he help it when Jiwoo unleashes an all-out attack on him. Causing him to fall from his lovely nesting place and landing right on his ass. 

Before he realizes it, Taehyung is laughing, looking bright as ever. Leave it to Jiwoo to make him feel better. 

"Whoa Taehyung, it's a good thing that you have a fat ass and saved that landing!" Somin barks out while trying to hold in her laughter. 

"Shush! I'll let you know that some people happen to like my ass!" Taehyung defends.

"Pfft, sure they do. Which is why you're always wearing skinnies, right Mathew?" Somin turns to Mathew, who is for some reason, strangely silent.  And now the atmosphere is back to its regularly programmed awkwardness.

"Earth to Mathew, psst. I repeat Earth to Mathew." Jiwoo is suddenly behind Mathew, cupping a hand over her mouth to try and imitate a radio. She only gets away will a cute littlie "pursh" noise which Somin coos at (again, soulmates). 

"Im alive space ranger." He replies. Eyes never leaving Taehyung's form. He's got that adorable pout on his face, which compliments his sparkling eyes. And Jiwoo was definitely right about that fat ass. 

Now they're just awkwardly looking at each other, not moving an inch. Until Taehyung mans-the-fuck-up and immediately runs into the safety of his room, letting out a quick yell of "Night!" followed by the slamming of his bedroom door. 

"That...was weird." Somin says, going to sit on the kitchen counter. 

The next incident, felt like something out of a romantic comedy. 

It was just Somin, Mathew and him, lazing around the dorms on what appeared to be a rare freeway. After the hazards and stress promotions brought, they were blessed with at least a day to their selves. It's just Somin and Mathew fighting for the couch while Taehyung resigns to the swirly chair by the kitchen island. 

He wouldn't dare get between those two and the couch. That’s like asking for death on a silver platter.

All was fine, well as good as it gets when you're spending all of your time and energy avoiding your once best friend and now and forever love. 

He needs help.

It doesn’t help when Mathew decides to get his nice ass up and stalk right up to Taehyung, followed by Somin's loud  _"OOOHHH!"_ In the background.

And what happens next will surprise all three of them.

Mathew leans over him, taking up every possible escape route with his big cuddly body.

"Did it hurt?" Is all he asks.

Now he's just confused. 

"What are you talking about?" He hopes this isn't going where he thinks it's going.

"I mean when you fell from Heaven." 

It's going exactly where he thinks it's going. 

"Lame." Is all they get from the very wise Somin.

"Is that all you could've come up with?" She questions, sprawling over the newly formed space on the couch.

"You can't spell Luv without U in it."

"Yes, yes you can." Taehyung sighs.

"Is your name Irene, because you rock me like a hurricane." This time it's extra special because Mathew made finger guns with his hands and made little "pew pew" noises.

"That almost worked."

"Are you a chicken because you're the eggs to my bacon."

"That doesn't even make any sense?!"

"Hey I tried!" Mathew huffs out, crossing his arms over his chest in protest. "Fine then you should give it a try!"

"Uhh fine." Taehyung takes a breath. "I... I just want to be upfront and say that I visually enjoy you."

What he's expecting is a loud yell of annoyance from Somin, or at least from Mathew. But all he gets is one big slice of silence.

Taehyung looks up to Mathew, who somehow transformed into the exact form of a tomato. Who knew it was humanly possible for his face to go that red? He's got a hand covering his mouth, and he's staring at something to the left of him.

Glancing over to Somin, who is apparently equally as stunned as Mathew, can only do so much as shrug when he shoots her a questioning face.

_Fuck_

Reclaiming his composure, Mathew brushes off the quick... _reaction_  he just had and tried to assemble himself. 

Before Taehyung knows it, Mathews crawling up close to him, almost as if he could kiss him-

No. Taehyung's cutting off that train off thought before it could even be boarded and leave for departure. He does  _not_  need it right now.

Although this scene is exactly something right out of a drama, (like the one he was watching earlier, that girl still deserved better). With him being the heroine, and Mathew melting into the role of the hard-ass love interest.

Mathew leans in, fitting his neck into the junction of where his neck and shoulder meets. It's as if he was the missing puzzle piece, he fits so  _perfectly_. He opens his mouth and whispers-

_"Baby, let me eat you out like a_ _five_ _course_ _meal._ _I'll even settle for sloppy seconds."_

That's pretty much all he hears before he dies.

Because who the hell wouldn’t just combust and explode like that? He would. Anyone would. Because it's his **_crush_** telling him this!

Mathew merely retracts, watching as Taehyung's eyes become wider than any planet, and his face going through the entire spectrum of red. Upon further inspection you will see the steam pouring from his face.

Somin, unware of whatever the fuck is was that Mathew said to Taehyung, because all she saw was Mathew whispering something to Taehyung before Taehyung just.... well evaporated?

Speechless, Taehyung is unable to even  _stutter_ , and just kicks it into full gear and leaps out of the room. That's right,  _leaps_. He's finally putting that dancer body of his to use by fucking flying from Mathew's view and out the door he goes. Once again to lock himself in his room just to at least calm down for a few minutes, because  _what the fuck was that_.

* * *

 

So, Taehyung mans the fuck up and talks to Mathew.

Nope, that never happens.

Instead of once again being a sponge, absorbing any possible ounce of affection from Mathew, he turns them away. 

This same, tiring routine continues for a while, long enough to wear away at everyone's sanity. Especially for Somin and Jiwoo, who make sure to go on extra dates and ventures outside of the house. Which results in the terrible combination of Taehyung and Mathew being stuck together.

Well, that isn't entirely true.

It was just Taehyung, since Mathew was so busy with his acting promotions. Honestly, things seem to be going much better without Taehyung's influence, which of course is an observation made by the one and only Taehyung himself. (Don't worry it was a naturalistic observation).

Anyways, these days it’s only  _Songjae_ this and  _Songjae_  that.

By the way, that’s the person whose co-starring with Mathew. 

And you know what? Even if it's when he  _actually_ feels brave enough to try to (confess) hang out with Mathew and clear the tension between the two of them. But every, single, fucking time, it's  _sorry_ _hyung_ _,_ _Songjae_ _and I are going to review the scripts_ or  _I'm too busy with the new filming_ and his favorite:  _sorry Taehyung, I made plans with_ _Songjae_ _._

At this point he's going to give up. But then again that's risking getting hit by both Somin  _and_ Jiwoo, Taehyung's weighing his options here and he's sure that he'd rather confess his love from being stuck in a room with those (ew) lovebirds. 

"Soulmates, yet again." Taehyung says to himself, shaking his head slightly at the thought. He likes to believe in the illusion that he and Mathew will be together and in love with each other like how Somin and Jiwoo are together. Because if you have Somin, its automatically guaranteed that you must have Jiwoo with Somin and vice versa. That's just a scientific law that he cannot fight nor would want to argue against (again, both of them tag teaming and kicking his ass to the moon for being a coward  _and_  interrupting their "cuddles", queue Somin basically choking Jiwoo with her thighs- sessions).

All Taehyung can do at this point is play it safe and accept his role from "Affection Craving Sponge" to "Less Than Chopped Liver" status. 

He'll survive, if he made it this far with just the basic "Best Friend" role this entire time then what's a little more to the mix? It wouldn't kill him, right? Right?

Note: past Taehyung had no clear idea of how much "a little more" would actually be equivalent to, he's unprepared and in for a wild fucking ride. And yes, Taehyung is positive that he's going to die by the time he would even spout the famous three words. 

Cause of death? One B.M./ Mathew. 

Not even turning himself into a sponge or some lowly bacteria would save him from the complete hurricane that is Mathew.

Taehyung's so  _fucked_.

 

 

"Yes, you are. You can't even be in the same room with him before you explode!" Somin states.

 

What he apparently forgot to address was that, for once he wasn't the only one home that day. In fact, he's just watching Jiwoo and Somin act all cute and bubbly on the couch as he (yet again,) resigns to his one and only true love, that swirly chair by the kitchen island.

 

Taehyung puckers his lips and makes fake "kissing" noises, trying to tease Jiwoo and Somin. Somin goes redder than Taehyung's ever scene, well it was all he saw before Jiwoo KO'ed him with one of the couch cushions, before Taehyung's knocked onto the ground. Picking up the one missile throw pillow, he launches it at Jiwoo who's smart enough to duck. However, Somin gets absolutely destroyed. That tends to happen when you get hit directly in the face. Taehyung and Jiwoo share a look, they just started a fucking war.

 

"You're going to die Taehyung!" Somin shouts, before she prepares her ammo and attacks Taehyung. Who successfully dodges, landed on his side only to watch in horror as the pillow hits on of the unsuspecting guests they apparently (since when?) had over.

 

"-Hey guys I brought someo- What happened?" Is all Taehyung hears before looking up, only to see who appears to be some really pretty girl whose makeup is smeared all over the pillow and her face.

 

Really, it's as if the makeup and foundation was put on the pillow rather than it's victim. Oh- she looks pissed. 

 

"Guys, this is Songjae Kang, my co-star...." Mathew mumbles out, before facing the others. 

 

They just all stare at each other, Taehyung once again on the ground, Jiwoo taking refuge by the refrigerator and Somin manning the couch. All three of them are armed with separate pillows, save for the one that got an entire make-over.

 

"Nice.. to meet you?" Somin says, getting up and brushing off the invisible dirt from her pants. She walks up to the co-star and they shake hands.

 

Jiwoo and Taehyung remain in their spots, silently making a peace treaty in their heads, from the looks of it, Jiwoo doesn't like this chick at all. Neither does Taehyung, because well; would you want to be friends with your crushes' potential date and love interest? Him either. 

 

What kills him is that stupid and happy smile gives Songjae when she goes to clean her face, Taehyung feels his heart shatter. Just a smudge, a little piece that feel out of place. Taehyung guesses that he isn't important enough to make Mathew smile like that. But one day he hopes too. 

 

Just be Chopped Liver or something. At least he'll be able to be close to Mathew. You know what? Chopped Liver wouldn't work out for him, as Taehyung spots Mathew (for some reason?) grabbing a jar of pickled beef liver.

 

"Hey whose down for some stew?" Is all he says before migrating into the kitchen.

 

Alright so Taehyung's been downgraded from Chopped Liver to Shredded Liver because even a food item can get more attention from Mathew than him.

 

 


End file.
